Revelations

This is going to be kind of hard for me to write; but I think once it's out there I'll feel better. I'm trying really hard not to feel embarrassed or like a failure; but sometimes things are just what they are and you have no choice but to accept them. 

After I ran the Colfax half marathon; I had a really rough couple of days. About an hour after the race, I was dizzy, disoriented, fatigued and nauseated. I pretty much felt like I had the flu. This lasted for about 2 days. During that time I tried to eat healthy and focus on hydration. I figured it was an electrolyte imbalance due to me not adequately replenishing my electrolytes during and after the race. (Even though I thought I had.) It was pretty miserable but it passed and I forgot about it.

Right after that, I started adding Gatorade to my training since it seems like that is what is offered at the water stops during the races. I would alternate between drinking Gatorade and coconut water as I ran; and followed a long run with plenty of water and some type of protein/carb recovery drink. 

After the Garden of the Gods 10 mile run, I felt pretty good. I pounded the water/Gatorade that they had afterwards. I still spent the remainder of the day feeling a bit fatigued and off - but not nearly as bad as Colfax. 

I ran my second half marathon yesterday, and it was a tough one. Very tough. I tried to make sure I hydrated prior to the race and during. I alternated between coconut water and Gatorade; and I drank water at the water stops. Once I finished the race, I had a moment where I felt like I could not catch my breath and it made me panic. So I had my dad walk me to my truck to grab the fluids I brought with me. My heart rate was ridiculous and I felt like I couldn't breathe. This calmed down a bit by the time we got to my truck. I drank 1/2 of a bottle of Naked juice protein smoothie, and grabbed a bottle of Gatorade. I started drinking that. We walked around a bit, I stretched; then kept walking. I felt like I had to keep walking. When I stopped, I would feel lightheaded, and then my stomach cramped up. Horribly. It was so bad that I felt like I couldn't take a deep breath and THAT made me feel panicky. I had no idea what to do to fix it, or what I did wrong to cause it in the first place. I was completely dismayed. I took a Gas-X and kept drinking cold water. Eventually I felt okay enough to drive home and on the way home I alternated between drinking the cold water and the Gatorade. I felt okay when I got home and showered, but then all of a sudden I felt fatigued, my stomach was too upset to eat; and all I wanted to do was go to sleep.

Today I woke up feeling fine. Legs feel fine, overall I felt great. As soon as I ate breakfast - I started feeling off. So completely off that it made me start having an anxiety attack. (As I'm writing this I am finally calmed down due to 1/4 of a Xanax tablet.) 

I have really, really bad acid reflux. I know that this is part of what is causing my discomfort right now. Running aggravates it. My current medication is no longer working so I am going to have to figure something else out. I try really hard to eat the right kinds of foods but my reflux is actually caused by my stomach emptying too slow. I'm supposed to eat really small meals (not easy to do when you are athletic and need to eat.) I should be avoiding dairy too... So many foods I should be avoiding... Anyway... This is the 2nd time I've run a half marathon where I felt so completely horrible the next day that I'm questioning my sanity... 

And I've come up with the thought that maybe I'm just not built for the long distances. I run 5, 7, 9, sometimes even 10 miles without as difficult of a recovery afterwards. But this? This is making me question if it's worth it. Maybe I should stick to the shorter races and be okay with that?

It could be a hydration/electrolyte thing, I don't know how to fix it. I know Gatorade has a ton of sugar in it and I know there are other options, but I'm not sure that my misery is due entirely to not replenishing the electrolytes. I know I'm adequately hydrated - my pee after a race is just the right color. I think that the jarring of the running is aggravating my guts a little too much. I have a small ounce of hope that finding the right type of electrolyte replacement solution might resolve this issue and I can keep going forward as planned. But if not..?

I'm fucking pissed about it. My joints, my hips, my muscles, my knees; my body is holding out just fine. I can't believe I'm going to be taken out by my stupid digestive system... But I honestly can't bear the cramping, or the bloating, or the panicked feeling I get when all of this stuff is happening. I don't think it's supposed to be that way. I'm going to make an appointment with my gastroenterology and see what she has to say. Maybe she can give me some tips or solutions that will help me continue to do the things I want to do. But a part of me has to be ready to accept the fact that the two half marathons I've run are the only two I'm going to get. 

Anyone else who has experienced any of these symptoms/situations - PLEASE let me know how you cope. I feel so discouraged and depressed right now. 

Ambitious? Or Addicted??

In January of this year, I decided I was going to run a half marathon. I had doubt - prior to that I'd only run 4 miles and was so not in love with running. But I do like to challenge myself, I like pushing [then breaking down] my boundaries so I can explore what lies beyond them. I cannot recall the exact moment that I fell in love with running, I just know that one day I began to look forward to running and hated when I missed a run.

So I trained hard, and lined up for my first half marathon; with a pounding heart but complete faith in my training. I didn't follow the plan to the letter, but I only missed one long run during the 12 week program. I ran, I felt good; and I did better than my expectations. The lesson I took from it actually didn't have anything to do with running at all - it had everything to do with post race hydration and nutrition. (I failed to adequately hydrate and had a rough couple of days after the race.)

I felt good enough to sign up for one more half; the Rock n Roll half on October 20th. I focused on skating, and did fairly well skating my first skate marathon of the season in Wisconsin. The week before that, I made the decision to run the Garden of the Gods 10 miler - I was actually more nervous about that one than my half!! But I ran strong, and I felt great; and I hydrated like a mad woman afterwards so I didn't have any issues like I did after Colfax. 

At this point I'm starting to feel a little more bold, and a little more confident. I signed up for the Sand Creek half marathon on July 13th, and the Highlands Ranch 4th of July 5k for fun. I picked up the training again at about the halfway point (8-9 mile Saturday long run) and set my focus on Sand Creek. I knew that some of my running pals had signed up for the Castle Rock half marathon but with it so close to Sand Creek, I pretty much ignored the conversations about it. Well, I tried to anyway. Castle Rock is on June 29th, which is just two weeks from Sand Creek. My training schedule had me running 11 miles on the 29th so the argument became 'what's two more miles?' So I went ahead and registered...

I had to tweak my training, this week became a taper week rather than a ramp up week. The mental aspect of it is what I'm struggling with most, I know it's not a matter of whether or not 'people' can run back to back half marathons, 'people' do it all the time. I know people who can do that back to back a day apart - not two weeks apart. But I'm not people - I'm me. I'm still discovering my boundaries and my limitations. I'm still pushing and testing. I'm still trying to get used to being a runner; I still don't consider myself to BE a runner. Not sure why? Maybe after this year is over and I look back over everything I intend to (and WILL) accomplish; maybe then it will sink in.

In the meantime, I am focused on my approach. These next two races won't be about time, or getting PB's, but more about endurance. Listening to my body. I plan on taking it fairly easy the two weeks between my races, concentrate on good nutrition and hydration - before and after. The good news is that aside from some aches and complaints in some muscles, I feel really healthy. Most of the naggy little aches in my legs fade around mile 5. My main concern is what I do afterwards to stay feeling healthy. I had some issues this past Tuesday, I ran 3.75 miles around lunch time (81 degrees) then spent an hour doing weight training; I ate lunch but something I ate was probably borderline bad because I got a really bad stomach ache. Instead of just taking it easy, I did ANOTHER run (3.3 miles in 90 degree heat) with my guts already upset! (That was by far and away the most uncomfortable run I've done yet...) I did not adequately hydrate with electrolytes like I usually do, and was sick all day yesterday. Awful! I have got to make sure to take care of myself during and after! The running sorts itself out - the nutrition is all on me.

This is shaping up to be a pretty big year as far as athletics go. After Sand Creek, I'll tone down the running and crank up the skating, I am doing a duathlon in Minnesota on August 3rd (skate a half, run a 5k) then it'll be total skate focus for the Northshore Inline Marathon on September 14th. I'll have 5 weeks from that to get ready for the Rock n Roll half!!! My plans for November and December are to do a few small races and focus on  maintaining conditioning through the winter!! All good stuff. 

Riding a Runner's High

I wasn't going to do any more running events between Colfax and Apostle - I swear I had every intention of throwing myself head first into skate training for Apostle while putting running on the back burner... But then when I saw a few of my brand new running friends signing up for a very challenging 10 mile run in Manitou Springs; I just couldn't resist. It's a week before Apostle, I'll be fine: and besides, according to my training schedule I was set to do a 10 mile run this weekend anyway... So why not make it a race?

Me with my new running friends! This is an amazing group of people!

I won't lie, I was apprehensive about this one - it was at a higher altitude and had a lot more hills than I'm used to. But I was more excited about challenging myself, any fear I had was overshadowed by my desire to get out and do something difficult. (Colfax was difficult, but it was also very flat!) I got up at 4:30 am to carpool down to Colorado Springs with some of my running friends, we got there in plenty of time - shook off the jitters and took off into the Garden of the Gods...

It was absolutely beautiful, the scenery was amazing. It was a perfect day - warm but not too hot; clear and sunny. I took my time for the first half because I told myself I would treat this as a training run. I had no time goals, no intention of pushing myself too hard... Hah. Yeah right. At mile 5 my competitive nature awoke and I started to push a little. I had no illusions of winning anything, I just wanted to see what I had in me. My first half split was 54:44, second half was 48:06. Finished in 1:41:40 and I was very happy with that!! Yes, the course has hard, but I was grinning the entire time because I was having a BLAST! At one point my friend Leanne ran along side me and asked me how I was feeling, and when I told her I was having fun this lady in front of us turned around and snarled "who said that??"... I did! I WAS having fun!!! She was not. I felt kind of sorry for her.

I know I probably sound like a broken record, or maybe I sound like I'm full of myself or bragging about my accomplishments but you have to know - it's not that. Not at all. I'm amazed at what I'm doing because I never saw it coming. The life long jocks may not get what us late to the game athletes feel when we hit milestones we've never hit before. Been there/done that folks who seem like they're just going through the motions - the ones who've forgotten that sense of awe and wonder each time a barrier is broken. I had a moment of pure exhilaration while running down a hill today - I just felt ALIVE. I almost started laughing! It was so awesome. I hope I never, ever become a been there/done that athlete because this feeling is just too priceless!

We did it!!!!

Once upon a time, I was one of those "I wish I could do that" kind of girls. 13 years ago, I was also about 50 lbs overweight, depressed, hopeless, and lost. I've come a long way, and along this journey I have found people who inspire and amaze me - people who motivate and impress me; not actors or sportos who get paid to play; but real life people. I just love to hear about people who overcome obstacles to become so much more than they were. I am one of those people. My greatest desire is that I, too, will inspire someone to do the same.

Me, in 2000...  I hate this fucking picture so much.... 

Next up for me? The Apostle Inline Marathon on June 15th - 26.2 miles of smooth pavement and beautiful scenery. I cannot wait!! I'm probably just going to treat it as a training skate..... ;)