Going through hell

This is going to be a really hard blog for me to write. I like being a positive, upbeat person. I love life, I love living out loud - feeling like I'm out there participating. I have a tendency to hide any sign of weakness (perceived or real) behind a smile and a positive attitude because I don't want to be a downer. I like to feel strong, energized, and involved; I enjoy living life to the fullest.  

But I'm not right now. I feel broken. I feel frustrated. I feel sick. Even with the diagnosis of Gastroparesis - I know there is something else going on. I have not met one other person with GP who has constant shortness of breath or feeling easily winded ALL THE TIME. Some of them get it after a meal if they're bloated - I have it all the time. I get winded just walking up a flight of stairs. Two months ago I was running 8-12 miles at a time. How is this possible?? If it were just the stomach stuff, I would be coping just fine, I'm eating pretty good, adjusting to the new diet and not having too many issues on that side; the acid reflux, some abdominal pain, and feeling overly full for about an hour after I eat. 

But the shortness of breath... It triggers panic attacks. I've had a lot of people tell me that anxiety causes shortness of breath, you have to slow down your breathing; etc. DUH. I know this. I've had panic attacks in the past, but my breathing issues came BEFORE the anxiety. Looking back through journals I found where I wrote about several instances of feeling like I couldn't catch my breath hours after finishing a run. I recall in particular one 10 mile run way back on June 22nd, I was in the shower and felt like I just could not get enough air. No anxiety, no panic - just sort of a 'huh, that's weird' kind of thing. I noticed when I bent over a little, it was easier to breathe. This was hours after my run. Then, after my half marathon on June 29th, I experienced the same thing. I could not catch my breath after the run. I had to walk around for about 20 minutes and my heart rate was accelerated the entire time. My chest hurt, and I felt like I could not get enough air. I also have a pain in my back on the right side, in the middle of my shoulder blade. This comes and goes. The panic attacks didn't start until after my run on July 13th.... 

Anxiety and panic attacks are like a rash. For people who get them - you'll know what I mean. For those of you who don't - I will try to explain. Like a rash, it starts small. After my run on July 13th, I felt overly full and short of breath after a meal. This made me feel anxious - for the first time, I felt really panicked. I took some medication for it. But that was the start of the rash. I scratched it, so it began to grow. Soon I was experiencing anxiety around every meal, worried I would have a panic attack - scratch scratch scratch - before I knew it; I was having panic attacks out of the blue, not triggered by anything in particular. I had one while getting my hair done. I've had 2 while driving; and several as the passenger in the car. Yesterday morning I had the worst one yet; all I did was get out of bed and walk downstairs. Panic attacks are very uncomfortable, they make you want to avoid the things that seem to cause them. For this reason, I am currently feeling extremely agoraphobic. I won't drive. I only go somewhere if I have to and someone has to drive me AND I have to be doped up on Xanax. I have found that I breathe a bit easier when I'm semi-reclined, so guess where I spend most of my time...  

I've had a whole bunch of tests done. Lung tests came back normal. Hormones came back low, doc thinks I might be starting menopause (I had a hysterectomy in 2009 - keeping one ovary. So I lack the conventional sign of impending menopause.) I have a few symptoms and maybe this is also contributing a little to the anxiety and the depression. I'm scheduled to discuss 'options' later this month. I'm also set up for a stress test for my heart. I've had a couple of EKGs come back with abnormalities but the doctor didn't think they were note-worthy. I had a CT scan in the ER and they also noted a heart abnormality that they didn't think was serious but was worth investigating. My heart rate always got up into the higher zones and stayed there whenever I exercised; and took a long time to come back down. So who knows. 

All I know is that I'm tired of this. I feel super fatigued. I'm in pain (lower back and across my front, right under the ribs.) I'm angry; I'm scared. I'm frustrated with my GI doctor (who can't seem to make the time to call me to answer some questions I have...) My primary care physician has been wonderful - answering my emails, getting me in on short notice; listening to me and making me feel like he genuinely cares about me. 

I was unable to run the AIDS Walk, but even worse was that I couldn't even walk it. I didn't even want to GO. But I doped myself up on Xanax, and my dad took me so I could turn in my money and at least feel like I was involved. I had a nasty panic attack on the way home - it's the first time my dad has witnessed one. I think it scared him. My dad has been amazing, even if he doesn't understand. He called me when I was having a melt down and my husband was out of town; and he came over just to sit with me. I never wanted him to see me that way - but I needed him. He's been an amazing source of comfort and security - I was having another hard time this weekend and he held me and cried with me. I don't know what I would do without him - especially when my husband has to travel.

I don't want pity. I don't want advice. I'm just venting. I KNOW this is temporary. I know it is. I know I'll get through it, and that I'll adapt to whatever modifications need be made to my life. I'm a fighter. I'm a survivor and I will get through this.I just wanted to share because when I'm feeling the way I do now, I do an internet search, and I find blogs like this one - and when I read them I suddenly feel not so alone. And that helps. I'm not alone. Sure, I have moments of utter hopeless despair, where I wonder if this is it - if this is how it's going to stay; but those moments pass. I am going through hell right now. But I've been here before. I know the drill. And I will get through it.

My diagnosis - and an uncertain future

I went in for a gastric emptying test this past Monday. Basically I ate a meal consisting of scrambled eggs and 1 1/2 slices of toast; the eggs contained a radioactive tracer. As soon as I was done eating, they put me in a scanner that scanned the food in my stomach - I stood there for a minute, then headed to the waiting room for an hour. They scanned me every hour for 2 hours, then I had a 2 hour break before coming back for my final scan. The purpose of the test is to find out how long it takes for food to move from your stomach to your small intestine. At 2 hours, I was at 63% contained (normal is 60%) and at 4 hours I was at 20% contained (normal is 10%). Basically, I still had more food in my stomach than normal. This confirms a diagnosis of Gastroparesis - I was told that mine is 'mild'. 

My particular symptoms are acid reflux, feeling overly full after only a few bites of a meal, shortness of breath, loss of appetite, and abdominal pain and bloating. In the past, I've had flare ups of these symptoms that usually lasted a few days to a couple of weeks, then things calmed back down and life resumed. I'm over a month out since the first sign of this flare up and still no sign of things calming down yet.

There can be a couple of causes for my particular case - I have hypothyroidism and I also have had 2 abdominal surgeries where the vagus nerve could have been damaged. Either way, my digestive system is sluggish. I was put on the drug Domperidone (a motility drug to help speed up the contractions in my stomach) in addition to taking 60 mg of Dexilant (for acid reflux) in the morning and 300 mg of Zantac at night to help control the nighttime acid reflux. (It's been pretty horrible this past week for some reason. I wake up feeling like I'm having a heart attack.) I've also added a probiotic and now have to eat a special diet that consists of some seriously bland food. 

The other thing I'm dealing with is the panic cycle that was set off with the shortness of breath. It has gotten so bad that I can't even drive without having a panic attack. I take Xanax every day. I'm still afraid to try to drive - I can't even imagine skating, the memory of having a panic attack right there on the bike trail is still too fresh in my mind. I doubt if I'll be doing any more skating this year. I'm also severely depressed; and understandably so. Been here before - I know the way through this is time. It just takes time.

I am trying to process what this all means as far as my future as an athlete. The fact that I'm still so new at even BEING an athlete makes this feel even more unfair. I have a theory as to why this flared up when it did and to the extent that it did - everything started once I started training really hard for my first half marathon. I honestly believe that the increase in the intensity of my physical activity is what triggered this. During intense exercise, blood is shunted away from the internal organs to focus on oxygenating the muscles - causing the guts to slow down. In a normal person, this is temporary. For someone with an already slowed down system - it can be pretty devastating. The harder I pushed myself to run, the farther I pushed, the faster I went - the worse my symptoms got.  

So - what does this mean for my future? I'm fairly certain that I won't be running any more half marathons. My bucket list was to do at least one; I did two - so I am okay with this. My HOPE is that I can continue to run, going slower to keep my heart rate down and not going as far so that the stress on my guts won't be as intense or prolonged. As far as skating - well, I don't know yet. Probably the same thing. Not pushing as hard or going as far or as fast to keep my heart rate down. If I race next year, I will be in the rec group skating slow - I hope I can still do full marathons, if not- I'll drop down to the half. As long as I can still skate and run, I'll do whatever I have to do to keep my symptoms in check. But that comes later. I've tried to do a Google search to find athletes coping with Gastroparesis; and only found ONE person. And she's a power lifter. I could not find any runners or endurance athletes. Disheartening. I don't know what to expect.

I do know that my season is over. I won't be skating Northshore. I won't be running the Rock n Roll half marathon. My focus now is getting my body back in balance, and getting my life back to normal. My energy level is pathetic. I'm in pain. I'm depressed. I'm taking in maybe 800 - 1000 calories a day, if even that. I'm really hoping to get to a point where I can start eating normal food instead of pudding, and eggs, and peanut butter, and fruit cups - I feel like my diet is that of an elementary school student!! I miss salads..............

I hope I am open to whatever comes next. Right now I just don't know what that is yet.

The Saber Tooth Tiger

I finally got in to see the GI doctor yesterday, it was kind of what I expected. A lot of questions and a few theories - then a succession of tests will begin. My first test will be a gastric emptying test next Monday to confirm Gastroparesis, and it sounds super fun! First, you eat a plate of radioactive eggs. Then they x-ray your belly every hour for 4 hours to see how long it takes those eggs to get out of your stomach. The slower it takes, the more fucked you are. I am hoping it doesn't take long. In the meantime, I'm on the Gastroparesis level 2 diet which equates to eating absolutely NOTHING delicious. It's all bland crap you would feed a toddler. (Fruit cups, white bread, pudding, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches...) This diet goes against EVERYTHING I feel I need to eat to maintain my fitness level. No lean meats, no raw fruits or vegetables; no whole grains. I am really hoping my test results come back with mild GP and I can go back to eating the way I want to eat. I feel VERY unhealthy living off of pudding, bagels, and eggs.

The doctor also believes that the shortness of breath is being caused by inflammation. Essentially my small intestine is incredibly pissed off, so it's inflamed and pressing on my diaphragm. Since it hurts to breathe deep, I take shallow breaths without even realizing it. This in turn triggers anxiety. Shortness of breath causes anxiety, not the other way around. No amount of head shrinking will fix this - for those of you who suggested I see a counselor. my BOWELS need a shrink. Not me! For the time being, I'm on a probiotic. Another test will check to see if we need to re-set the bacteria in my intestines and start all over. The hope is that the bland diet and probiotic will calm things back down so I can breathe normally and kick the Xanax. If not then it's a round of antibiotics to re-set everything.

So then I asked the question I've been dreading. Since it seems like all of this really started to get bad once I started running the longer distances; will I still be able to run? He then regaled me with a story about how when we're running, our brains don't realize that we're running for fun or fitness; they think that we're being chased by a saber tooth tiger. So all blood is shuttled to the muscles to give them the oxygen needed to get away from the tiger, since if we get caught it doesn't really matter if there is food trying to digest in our stomachs. For most people, the digestive system gets back to normal within a few hours or days - but since my digestive tract is slow to begin with; mine doesn't. He didn't really answer my question. My hope is that if I do have Gastroparesis severe enough to require medication that it will also help my guts get back to normal when I'm done running from the tiger. I love running from the tiger... I cannot imagine a life where I'm not being chased by a damn tiger!

The weird thing is that my appetite is coming back, and I am able to eat foods that are not on the GP diet without any issues - like salads and chicken. That part of my body feels just about back to normal. The thing that doesn't is the pressure and pain against my diaphragm. So who knows. It's a stupid waiting game. My doctor adjusted my thyroid medication (dropped the dose) so until I adjust to that I feel groggy and fatigued. My guess is that the test next Monday will show a mild emptying issue - and then I'll be back to square one.

My spirits are good though. I have moments of despair and feeling hopeless but they do not last. I will get through this and I will get my life back. I've been through worse...

Sand Creek

After my run on Wednesday, I decided to drop down from the half marathon to the 10k. For some reason I was really bummed about this. That is the incorrect emotion. The correct emotion should be pride = pride that I a.) listened to my body; and  b.) still decided to participate rather than scrap it altogether. My goal for this particular race was to finish it in under an hour. I came in at 58:28 so I am very happy with that! Pre-race I did not eat anything, instead I drank a bottle of coconut water during the drive. I ran with 2 10 oz bottles of water with 1 1/2 tablets of Nuun dissolved in them (I only finished one bottle). I also had one packet of GU prior to the run and brought one with me; which I did not use. I felt great during the run, aside from a couple of vile acid burps... gawd... After the run I drank 32 oz of room temperature water mixed with 1 1/2 scoops of Max Muscle ARM recovery drink. I did not have any stomach cramps, headaches, dizziness or shortness of breath. When I got home I ate 3 scrambled eggs and 2 slices of whole grain toast - I didn't have any problem eating and so far I feel fine! (This is major - lately I haven't been able to eat very much and have been relying on a lot of protein shakes for nutrition. Gag.) I've come to dread meal time so any time I can eat a full meal without incident is a major win.

So... What comes next? Well, I have an appointment with the GI doc and one with a sports nutritionist next month. In reviewing my journals, I see a pattern of gastroparesis symptoms flaring up with super intense exercise. (With both skating and running.) My guess is that both doctors will probably tell me to lay off anything that causes these symptoms - and after a few weeks of absolute agony - I will be more than happy to comply. I have done a great deal of research so I understand what happens in my body to cause this and acknowledge that I am one of the unlucky people who doesn't bounce back from it right away. (During intense exercise, blood is shunted away from internal organs to focus on fueling muscles with oxygen. This can cause internal organs to slow down - gastroparesis; slow emptying stomach.) Generally my internal workings balance back out after a few weeks of moderate to zero exercise.

 So what does this mean? For me it just means redefining my goals and what I expect from myself. I had a goal at the beginning of the year to run a half marathon. I've done that. I've actually done 2 and am registered for one more in October (so far I am planning on running it). But it will probably be my last half.

I love running, but what running IS is different for everyone. I'm not built for distance or endurance; I know that now.  But I will still run. I love running, I love races, I will continue to participate in them; I just need to set my maximum distance at 10 miles instead of 13.1. I can still bounce back from a 10 mile run without too much discomfort. The 10k is my favorite distance though; it's just enough to max out and still feel like I did something without causing negative symptoms to flare up.

Now it's time for me to focus on skating. Skating is not nearly as hard on my body as running is and it takes a LOT more of it to induce the gastroparesis symptoms. When I start training hard for the marathons and am skating 50 - 75+ miles a week, that's usually what does it. But I don't have a full marathon until September. So I can cut back a little and work on getting my half marathon a bit faster since I'm doing the duathlon on Aug 3rd. My schedule will be to skate 3x per week (15 - 20 miles at a time) run 3x per week (3-4 miles 2x per week w/ a max distance of 8 miles for the Saturday long run) and lift weights 2x per week. My other priority is to get my nutrition under control and hopefully my body will balance back out.

As far as fitness goes - my intentions have always been about testing boundaries. Seeing how far I could go before I hit my limits; and respecting them once I did. I want to be healthy ALL over, not just my muscles but my internal organs as well. So I am okay with modifying what I do to make sure I achieve that. I feel great about what I have accomplished and hope that I will find more challenges in the future that won't upset my stomach...

Frustration, Hesitation; Determination

I am frustrated. Depressed. Confused. But also determined not to quit or give up. For my entire life my motto has been 'when the going gets tough; I'm outta here'. Quitting is easy. Sticking something out even when it feels completely hopeless takes a great deal of strength... And some measure of insanity I'm sure.

I've been spending a lot of time reading up on gastroparesis - what causes it, what triggers flare-ups; how to manage it. I've also been reading forums and that is a huge mistake. I learned back in the early days of my bipolar diagnosis that there are some people who sit back and wallow in a diagnosis rather than find ways to combat it. (It IS easier to give up and quit you know.) I read a lot of depressing stuff and had to make myself focus on the posts from folks like me. People who are not content to sit back and play the victim or be defined by a "lazy stomach" and all of the crap that goes along with it. I mean seriously, who would? Just like with the bipolar, I want to find a way to co-exist since this is a chronic issue with no cure. 

But I have been really depressed. I went for a skate on Monday, and I felt pretty good! But then yesterday I had a rough day of feeling bloated and overly full; unable to eat anything of substance. So I wallowed. I allowed myself to take on the weight of my distress and it about crushed me. This morning started out the same way, I really wanted to just go back to bed but the optimistic part of me was far more determined than the depressed part of me - I made myself lace up and go run. I haven't been on a run since the 4th of July 5k; and I haven't been on a long run since the Castle Rock half marathon (June 29th). I left my MOTOACTV watch at home because I didn't want to focus on distance or pace - I was going to focus on how my body felt and run accordingly.

I did my nutrition/hydration different today too; I ate one GU prior to running; no solid food (I usually eat a bagel or some oatmeal). I ran with 1 1/2 tabs of Nuun in 20 oz of water. I ate another GU at 45 minutes. I finished all of the water just as my run was completed. (I ran a very slow 7.25 miles; took me an hour and a half.) When I got home I drank one scoop of Max Muscle ARM recovery drink mixed with 12 oz of room temperature water. During my run I had some minor stomach cramps about 3.5 miles in, a few really rank acid burps, and shortness of breath. I walked a lot to get my breathing back under control and that helped. The temps ranged from 73 degrees when I started to 80 degrees when I finished. I was soaked in sweat. 

As of right now, I feel pretty good. Having a little reflux and feel a bit short of breath; but my stomach is calm. No cramps, no bloating. I really do like the Max Muscle ARM recovery drink - once I acclimated to the flavor anyway. (I drink the lemon lime one) It doesn't upset my stomach at all. I was drinking chocolate milk as a recovery drink but the dairy caused bloating and that is something I need to avoid. I think I'm going to continue to use the Max Muscle. I'm getting some water in me then I'll hit the shower.

I'm still not sure about Saturday. I was thinking of dropping down to the 10k because I know I can comfortably do 6.2 miles. But the website is saying that as of 7/8 they are not allowing anyone to switch distances. I honestly don't know if I could manage a half marathon right now, my stomach is still not back to normal and I am having a really hard time getting enough calories every day. I bought some Ensure but man, that shit is NASTY. There has GOT to be a better alternative to that!!! I'll mix my own vitamin smoothies rather than drink another bottle of that stuff. Gag!

My doctor wants to check my thyroid levels again to see if a med adjustment is in order; I'm anxious for my appointment with the sports nutritionist but that isn't until August 10th. I was happy to read that her specialty is actually sports performance nutrition. I hope that she can help me. I have not made an appointment with the GI doc, I was thinking that there isn't really anything she can do,but maybe going in and talking with her wouldn't be a bad idea... Couldn't hurt anyway. So I may still do that. I just want to get back to feeling strong and healthy and kick ass. Right now I do not. 

Dietary Desperation and Dilemmas....

I apologize in advance if I sound like a bit whiny - and you can stop reading if you choose. But I really need to vent my frustration, and this is the only place I really have in which to do so. Right now I feel like I'm caught up in a vicious cycle in regards to my stupid digestive malfunctions and my need for calories to fuel my workouts.

The medical term for what I suffer from is Gastroparesis - basically my stomach [for whatever reason] is lazy and takes its own sweet time dumping my food into my small intestine. I've had 2 endoscopies so far, both times this was the diagnosis. I also have a small hiatal hernia and excess bile in my gut... When I eat, the food just sits there in my stomach fermenting; making me feel overly full for hours. I feel bloated, nauseous, short of breath, and have acid reflux from hell. I have absolutely no appetite and when I do eat, I get anything from half a meal to about 3 fork fulls in me before I feel stuffed. Then it's hours of feeling overly full and uncomfortable; sometimes I feel panicked and have to take Xanax to calm myself down... It really fucking sucks.

The weird thing is that it's not always like this, I have periods of time where I feel fine, I can eat normally and I forget about it. I'm not sure what triggers a flair up but when it does, it makes me feel miserable, desperate, anxious and depressed. I'm right in the middle of a pretty bad bout of it right now, and it's beginning to take a toll on me. I'm extremely depressed and I'm also starting to lose weight rapidly - and for those of you who say 'I wish I had that problem' consider yourselves SMACKED. This is NOT healthy weight loss - and besides, losing weight is not my motivation nor my reason for exercising as hard as I do. I NEED to eat. I want to eat. I just can't.

I've been doing some reading because up until now my doctors have been pretty vague about what I need to do to manage this condition. (Of course, there is no cure - no surgery and no real medications to help.) I have medications for the reflux, but the reflux is a symptom. (Apparently from what I've read; so is gastroparesis.) One of the causes of it is hypothyroidism - which I also have. The last time I had my blood checked, all of my thyroid numbers were a bit high. Now I'm wondering if that means my doctor should maybe adjust my medication. I guess I assumed he would have said something, but it looks like I actually have to ask him. Maybe between my primary care physician, my gastroenterology doctor and a nutritionist I'll get some kind of a solution..? I feel SO desperate for relief!! I really hope it doesn't come down to relying on the gastroparesis diet because basically that is canned fruits and vegetables, white bread, cream of wheat, peanut butter, eggs... NO raw fruits or vegetables, no whole grains... You get the idea... Awful.

I feel betrayed by my body. In all other aspects I'm really healthy. My heart, my muscles, my lungs - I feel strong and able. I cannot believe that I'm being set back by a lazy stomach... I'm going to try drinking some meal replacement shakes of some kind and see if that helps because I need to get back to exercising. That would help with the depression. I have a call in to my gastro doc; hoping she can talk to me soon. My appointment with the nutritionist isn't until August. I have one week until my next half marathon and at this particular point in time I seriously doubt I'll be able to do it... And THAT really fucking sucks. 

With a tweak tweak here and a tweak tweak there....

I had an overwhelming response to my last blog, and I thank everyone who offered their insight, advice, and shared their own experiences. It made me feel a whole lot better to know I wasn't alone. 

My friend Rick (who is a personal trainer, inline skater, runner, and cyclist) gave me some really great nutrition advice for the day prior to the race, the day of, and afterwards. (I do have an appointment with a sports nutritionist, but it isn't for another month and I needed help NOW.) Rick gave me some basic changes to make to my diet in general, to tighten it up and make it more beneficial. Of course, I have always known that I need to eat more vegetables; and I'm worse than a 7 year old when it comes to that - but somehow, someway; I need to get those icky things into my body... . With Rick's help I was able to create a plan that I sincerely hope will help me get through my next half marathon. I intend to test part of it out on my training run tomorrow - I have 8-10 miles on the docket.

As of right now, I am planning on running the Sand Creek half marathon next Saturday. I won't lie, I'm terrified. I don't want to go through the same after race experience. I'm putting a great deal of trust in the before/during/after nutrition plan because I don't want to give up so easily. I have a feeling that if I can just get THAT straightened out then I'll be fine. My muscles felt awesome the day after Castle Rock; I had some minor stiffness, but it all felt normal! The machine is holding out and getting stronger, it all comes down to the fuel I put in it.

My friend Neil pointed out a few things to me as well - one being that I'm just not taking in nearly enough calories per day in general to support my activity level. I guess I still don't have it in my brain that I'm an athlete - an endurance athlete - and I need to EAT. I average maybe 1300 - 1600 calories per day. On a day where I burn 1000 - 1400+ calories either skating or running; that's just not going to cut it! Bottom line is that I need to eat more, and I need to make sure those calories are quality. I've been on a quest to clean up my diet for a while now anyway; cutting down on the overly processed foods as much as possible; staying away from greasy nasty stuff, and really, really trying to cut down on sugar. I'm also cutting down on dairy - all except for the Greek yogurt and some cheese. (I love chocolate milk, it'll be hard to find an alternative to that - the almond milk is close, but soy milk is nasty!) I need to keep it basic. Lean meats, vegetables, some fruit, and whole grains. So much easier said than done. But the good news is that by gradually eliminating things from my diet instead of doing the whole cold turkey thing has lessened the shock to my system. I lose a taste for it and get to the point where I don't even have to think about avoiding it. It's not perfect - every once in a while I just have to have a cheeseburger with bacon, a ton of french fries and a milk shake. But this is a very rare thing. A treat. So I indulge once in a while. I think that's okay. But the day to day diet needs to be cleaned up.

Neil also suggested I start taking 300 mg of Zantac at night in addition to the 60 mg of Dexilant I take in the morning (for the acid reflux). I've been doing this for only 2 days now and have already noticed a difference. The acid reflux symptoms for me are not like what you would typically think of when you think of 'heartburn'. I don't usually get that pain in the middle of the chest (like you swallowed a Jolly Rancher whole and it's stuck) - what I get is a sensation of being overly full; like I ate too much. I feel bloated and short of breath. Sometimes this feeling makes me feel anxious - which only compounds the problem. I also get acid up into my throat and sinuses; giving me a sore throat, burning tongue, and ear/sinus issues. (Yes we have the bed up on blocks; no it doesn't seem to make a difference.) The last thing I want to do when I feel like this is eat or exert myself with exercise. It's like a vicious cycle. Since my problem is motility (food not getting out of there fast enough) avoiding certain foods doesn't always make a difference - ANY food can trigger it. I've noticed that certain dairy products (like ice cream) make it worse. The one thing that doesn't seem to exacerbate it is salad. Which is kind of weird.

But anyway... So the race nutrition plan goes a little something like this -- day before the race, breakfast will be egg whites and whole grain toast or bagel. Lunch will be lean protein and quinoa. Protein drink or bar as a snack. Dinner will be some type of whole grain pasta w/o red sauce. I'll be hydrating as much as possible as well - no fruits or vegetables (too much fiber.) The morning of the race, I will try to take in about 3-5 gel packs instead of eating any food. (Rick pointed out that during the race I need the blood in my body focused on oxygenating my muscles; not trying to digest the bagel I ate just an hour ago...) Never thought of it that way... Drink water at the water stops and take 2 gels with me - only take them if I feel like I need them. After the race, sip on a very weak replacement drink to gradually get electrolytes back in my body. (Gatorade is OUT - I still need to choose which replacement drink I'm going to go with.) I also need to drink room temperature water rather than cold water so it absorbs quicker. Eat some real food about an hour or so after the run. I'm guessing pancakes are not the best choice so I'm going to opt for something like a turkey sandwich. 

If this works and I actually feel like a healthy human being the following day - I shall celebrate with a slice of well earned pie. I sincerely hope my Sand Creek recap is a very positive one. Wish me luck!!