My thoughts on Boston

I had to really think about this a lot before deciding to write a blog about the bombing in Boston. My emotions and my thoughts have been a shocked and jumbled mess all week - and I know I'm not the only one.

Long before I got serious about running, I understood the significance of the Boston marathon. I have a good friend who trained, and qualified, and ran it in 2008 - and I felt a huge sense of pride and excitement for her for accomplishing such an amazing goal. She is one of my running role models. She wasn't there on Monday, but I did have a friend who was. I met him through the Run Colorado running group and although I haven't known him for very long, I got swept up in the excitement of watching him train, and fret, and work his ass off to accomplish a personal best at Boston. For me personally, I find a great deal of joy in watching people work hard, and grow, and accomplish the things they set their minds to. These are the people who inspire me  the most.

So on Monday, I was following his progress on Facebook and feeling amazed at how well he was doing. He completed the race and I along with the rest of his friends were celebrating his amazing run. About 2 hours later; I started hearing the first details about the bombs going off at the finish line. First I checked to make sure he was okay, then started following the story.

After the initial shock and horror - I felt angry. Angry that someone took an event that celebrates diligence in training, discipline and pride; an event that inspires people to be better; an event that so many individuals worked so hard to reach - and turned it into a tragedy. They killed innocent people. They injured and maimed innocent bystanders; forever changing their lives. They tarnished the accomplishments by those who completed the run; and those who didn't even get a chance to finish. And for what? I know that the search for answers is on, but to be honest I cannot even begin to comprehend a reason for this. There isn't one.

I had a couple of people ask me if I'm afraid to race now. The answer is a resounding no. I refuse to live in fear. I have things I want to accomplish in my lifetime, and cowering in my house being afraid isn't one of them. As I continue to prepare for my upcoming half marathon, I know I'm not alone. Solidarity in the athletic community is amazing; to have a strong body you have to have a strong mind. I'm proud to be a part of this community and to share this mindset.

I haven't given much thought to running a full marathon - I need to focus on one goal at a time. Right now I'm focused on the half. I figured I would see how I felt after that one to decide if I could honestly see myself doing double the time and distance. But it is an option, there is no telling what I'm capable of yet because I keep surprising myself. I have no illusions; I would probably never qualify for Boston. But if I did, I would run it. Proudly. And without fear.